I am sure you can all relate to the following scenarios:
When you’re single- society asks, “When are you going to get a boyfriend/girlfriend?”–as if you have the ability to will Mr. or Mrs. Right into being.
When you finally enter into a relationship, your parents and friends start asking, “When are you going to get married?”–as if you can will a ring to appear on your delicately eager right hand.
Once you marry…your grandparents start asking, “When are you going to give me great-grand babies?”
…Do you see where I am going with this? I’m willing to wager a hefty sum on the fact that we have all had to dodge these questions at one point or another.
Of course, the hubs and I are often asked when will we welcome our bundle of joy into this world… It seems Molly Marie, our precious four-legged daughter, isn’t quite enough for most.
Let me give you a disclaimer: We WANT children. We LOVE children. WE ARE JUST NOT READY FOR THEM…YET.
Well, upon arriving home from our blissful honeymoon in St. Lucia a very interesting episode in the life of this blissful wife occurred.
Now, I am not often a late sleeper… I am more of a rise and shine type of girl….but coming home after the honeymoon, I was tired and VERY, VERY sleepy. I truly didn’t think anything much about it, other than the wedding stresses finally catching up with me and my body needing an intense vacation from being a bride.
So, on Day 8 of my blissful marriage, the hubs and I needed to make a quick run to Publix to purchase a few things for that evening’s dinner. We strategically planned our supermarket sweep and agreed he would man the car so we wouldn’t have to lose time searching for parking and I would make the swift purchases.
I left the car a happy, carefree, girl-on-a-grocery-mission. I returned a nervous-oh-my-we-may-be-pregnant mess with a pregnancy test in hand. Again, I WANT TO BE A MOM…Just not yet.
You may be wondering what happened to get me in this state. Well, as I quickly shopped the aisles, I shared a conversation with my wonderful mother-in-law. In passing, I mentioned my newly-adopted odd sleeping habits and she suddenly asked in her sweet, gentle way,”Nicki, are you sure you’re not pregnant?”
Oh. My. Gosh. No. I can’t be with-child. I mean, technically-yes…we did have an amazing honeymoon…but no this just can’t be. We want to save money. We want to travel. We want to enjoy each other. Suddenly what’s for dinner wasn’t occupying my mind, rather how the hell to perfectly aim pee on a stick was. My husband, on the other hand, was incredibly zen and calm. He looked at his crazy new wife with such peace it only concerned me more.
Sleepless nights, private school tuition, and dirty diapers crowded my brain as the longest 5 minutes of my life slowly ticked away. Then, something odd occurred. I thought of sweet baby coos, unconditional love for a human created out of pure love, and baby names began to dance in my head. The zen-feeling Javy exhibited slightly took hold of my accelerated heart beat and I began to think of our baby.
Eventually, the test revealed a minus sign, indicating I was in fact a tired bride, not a future blissful mommy. I was oddly sad, yet slightly relieved. God knew we weren’t quite ready for a baby and this false alarm was just a reminder of that.
I know one day, sooner than later, we will welcome babies into this crazy world. I know we will be amazing, self-less, sacrificial parents, just like our moms and dads are…and I know the timing will be right…even if it’s not…because God will be in charge.